The Hutton Truckers have announced an SRV endurance race – and Dr Arcanonn wants the Canonn to enter a team.
- Aparctias system
- Readdy’s Progress to Gooch’s Progress
- Race start time will be MIDDAY GMT (yes, HIGH NOON) on the 9th April!
He has issued this statement directly to all members of the Canonn:
Fellow scientists. As we all know, the truckers, although filthy, are great friends of ours – and not just because they have the best mugs in which to dunk biscuits (apart from our very own available from the store!), but because their long distance, deep-concentration mentality is similar to our own scientists’ determination to test, or rather flog, theories to death.
Science always wins the day, though – and that’s why I want a team to enter this ‘Hutton Cup’ that the truckers have announced.
Despite our lab-coats, most of us are all seasoned SRV drivers, thanks to the materials that we’ve been harvesting from planet surfaces. Even I have taken a few sojourns from my underground bunker to the surface of my planetary home in order to hone my driving abilities and test out tips from other drivers off the Galnet video feeds.
Just yesterday, in fact, I landed a 1.5km fall with only 20% damage to my SRV’s hull!
But there is one thing in particular that sets us apart from these truckers: Gin, or rather, the lack of it.
It’s well known that many truckers have an unhealthy addiction to the substance, to the point where many people prefer to refer to it as “Truckers’ Ruin”. Canonn scientists, on the other hand, rely on biscuits and the many, far superior, whiskies that are available throughout the bubble. Our superior taste alone should give us the edge in this race against both the truckers and many other groups who have already pledged to enter.
So, I want someone to step forward to head a team to compete in the name of science for this Hutton Cup.
In particular, we must beat the Hutton’s own ‘nuts’ wing. I’ve never liked nuts. Unless they’re in biscuits.
The race is expected to take upwards of 12 hours – so you’re going to need a few of you to do this in relay. Don’t drive tired!
Also, there are some obstacles along the route which you simply can’t drive over, you’ll have to drive around them.
We recommend at least 4 team members minimum – possibly with a spotter or two in attendance as well 😉 Read through the thread linked above, too – it has additional rules, regulations and advice. If a lot of scientists want to do it, then we can have more than one team – just give yourself a catchy, sciencey name!
If I had my SRV license I’d be straight there, but right now this journalist is too busy behind the writing desk to get involved!
Anyone volunteering for the team, comment below (Canonn Members only here) or organise on our Discord. Then let us know you’re doing it, and submit your team entry using Vingtetun’s form.
We need drivers and leaders here – time is ticking – let’s win this cup for Dr Arcanonn!